What started me down the path that I have followed for the past two years was a desire in my heart, mind, body, and soul for something more in this life. I was over the normal, tired of the drinking games and unavoidable hang overs, the shallow friends, the quest for money and found myself ultimately faced with my failed passions. I wanted something for my life filled with excitement, something I always wanted, something few are gifted the opportunity of doing. I was going to enlist in the Navy to fly helicopters. But trying to give my life to the army of the United States, as I now see it, I gave my life to Gods army first.
In October 2009 I committed to a 5 month program in Chile, A DTS... If you dont know what it is, well I didnt either. I now stand (sit) 2.5 years, several passport stamps, many acquaintances; friends, families later with the question lingering inside my soul, mind body and spirit, "For what?" If I dont have a reason, why do I do what I do...
I have been in love before. She never loved me back, but I gave all that I was to her. I gave my days, my thoughts, my life, my heart, and she ultimately threw it away. But, I loved nonetheless, and persisted in loving her all the same!
I wonder now is love a reason? I am coming to find it is THE reason.
I am 19 years old, I have not supported a family, not paid any reasonable bills, taken any college courses, and I barely graduated high school. I have traveled to several countries and seen many poverty stricken places, I have seen disaster, I have witnessed death and I have seen Love.
I do not want to give my life to a "Job" and I am scared of being secure... For there is NO security in that which is perishable.
I am broken. I am weak. I struggle to be what I desire to be. But I have found a passion... maybe a similar passion for a girl I once loved... but I now know, the source is not from me, but it is from whom created me.
I ask you, the few, who may read this, to enter into a discussion with me. Tell me what drives you, what you are living for, where you want your life to go... Maybe I will do the same, or maybe, Love will reveal itself, and we wont need a reason. We will simply have and know, THE reason worth living... LOVE and his name, Jesus.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Quick Update...
Summary...
For a first I find myself struggling to describe exactly what I am feeling. For the thoughts and ideas, the plans and futures I thought I once had, have been revealed insignificant to the will of God. Peaking into the origin of my passions, I have discovered a distinct difference between those passions, and my desires. What is mine and what is his, seems to be the question ringing deep down inside of me. A life full of decisions is what I am finding, and more so a life of sacrifices. Things that once brought joy and a physical quench, now being revealed for their true leech like qualities... Leech like in the way that they take and drain from the energy and which is dedicated for the will of my God.
The book of James...
A book of straight forward faith, a book of true religion, and a book for the lifestyle of disciples. Control the untamable tongue, be humble, do not judge, be joyful in trials. A call far beyond excellence for some people, for others what it takes to be who we say we are. By no means are any of these attained easily, we are a broken people with our faults, but our God, gives generously, "For his divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness." (2 Peter 1:3) But as I have learned about gifts, (asking for patience) it is not like the gifts we receive on Christmas, rather when receiving patience, you are often put in the endeavor of waiting, in which patience is perfected. But with endurance, these will be perfected, despite our slips and slides, we still are on the road towards holiness by Jesus Christ.
Now with most of the themes of this book finding their way into my travels, I know God is creating in me something beautiful. Currently I am discovering my faults in the theme of "Our Will and His Will." As I read the words, they bring back clear reminder of what was once uttered from my own mouth, "Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there..."(James 4:13) Now I find the plans I once had to further the kingdom of God becoming irrelevant to his unbreakable plans. The school I originally set out to staff has thus been canceled, and a nine month trip has been yet shortened. To what? I am not yet quite sure, however an internship back home, clearly in line with my calls in ministry sounds ever more in line with God's will. So with the forgiveness of my father, and humility of a servant, I say now "If the Lord will it , I will return home in April and prepare for a Summer Internship back home in Carlsbad."
In Conclusion...
At first with the canceling of the school and a series of emotions I went through, I originally struggled with the idea of everything. However now, after seeking God and seeing his will truly come through for me, I see the new opportunities that he is laying in front of me to be far more productive than anything that I could come up with on my own. I am eager to update about the past weeks, but currently am struggling to find the right words to describe God's movement in my life. But sooner than later I hope to get another detailed update out. God Bless to all of you who are reading, thank you for your prayers and support and maybe I will be seeing you soon.
For a first I find myself struggling to describe exactly what I am feeling. For the thoughts and ideas, the plans and futures I thought I once had, have been revealed insignificant to the will of God. Peaking into the origin of my passions, I have discovered a distinct difference between those passions, and my desires. What is mine and what is his, seems to be the question ringing deep down inside of me. A life full of decisions is what I am finding, and more so a life of sacrifices. Things that once brought joy and a physical quench, now being revealed for their true leech like qualities... Leech like in the way that they take and drain from the energy and which is dedicated for the will of my God.
The book of James...
A book of straight forward faith, a book of true religion, and a book for the lifestyle of disciples. Control the untamable tongue, be humble, do not judge, be joyful in trials. A call far beyond excellence for some people, for others what it takes to be who we say we are. By no means are any of these attained easily, we are a broken people with our faults, but our God, gives generously, "For his divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness." (2 Peter 1:3) But as I have learned about gifts, (asking for patience) it is not like the gifts we receive on Christmas, rather when receiving patience, you are often put in the endeavor of waiting, in which patience is perfected. But with endurance, these will be perfected, despite our slips and slides, we still are on the road towards holiness by Jesus Christ.
Now with most of the themes of this book finding their way into my travels, I know God is creating in me something beautiful. Currently I am discovering my faults in the theme of "Our Will and His Will." As I read the words, they bring back clear reminder of what was once uttered from my own mouth, "Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there..."(James 4:13) Now I find the plans I once had to further the kingdom of God becoming irrelevant to his unbreakable plans. The school I originally set out to staff has thus been canceled, and a nine month trip has been yet shortened. To what? I am not yet quite sure, however an internship back home, clearly in line with my calls in ministry sounds ever more in line with God's will. So with the forgiveness of my father, and humility of a servant, I say now "If the Lord will it , I will return home in April and prepare for a Summer Internship back home in Carlsbad."
In Conclusion...
At first with the canceling of the school and a series of emotions I went through, I originally struggled with the idea of everything. However now, after seeking God and seeing his will truly come through for me, I see the new opportunities that he is laying in front of me to be far more productive than anything that I could come up with on my own. I am eager to update about the past weeks, but currently am struggling to find the right words to describe God's movement in my life. But sooner than later I hope to get another detailed update out. God Bless to all of you who are reading, thank you for your prayers and support and maybe I will be seeing you soon.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Chile, back again.
After about three days of Travel, 11 hour layover turning into 24 hours, 250 Pounds of luggage, stranded at the airport at about 3 in the morning, I find myself home. Not the country where i was born, or grew up in, rather the place where i lost my life, and found it anew in Jesus Christ. Accompanied with an old teammate, now lifelong friend, I began an embarkment on another summer in the land that i love, a small town called Pichilemu. With a couple thousands miles and about 5 hours time difference distancing me from my original hometown, Carlsbad, I found readjusting to this lovely city was quite difficult. However, as my days begin to immediately be filled with ministry and calls for work, I find my laziness, which was so relevant at home having now place in this town. A typical monday-friday day would look something like:
7:00 wakeup
8:00 breakfast
8:30 Boxing/workout/dance class...
9:30 clean our house (pool house)
11:00 Swim Classes (60 degree pool)
1:00 Lunch
2:00 Head to beach
2:30 Volleyball
7:00 Head home
8:00 cook dinner
9:30 GO TO BED (or go to town....)
Weekends, well, they go something along the lines of... disappearing way to fast, and the necessity of Sabbath is coming all more relevant.
Coming up on about two weeks here God has already been doing a great deal within me. Clearly defining my faults, he is using the trials in my life to create me into the better man he wants me to be; less of me, more of him. As I finally begin to battle back in my individual wars over procrastination and organizations, I can see the many defeats in the past, but I am excited for the victories in the future. Taking my baby steps into leadership, God is pulling his hands farther from me, knowing that I can take the steps on my own. However still there to catch me every time I stumble.
I am beginning to see the necessity for ministry in my life, and the love of service all the more evident. As I slowly start to focus on others and loose clarity of my own desires I find the verse Mathew 6:33 a strong motivational source, "But seek first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto thee." Knowing that if i focus all I am on bringing fourth his kingdom, he will grant me my hearts desires without my effort at all, well that brings fourth excitement and a true understanding of his righteousness. The revelation of more of him and less of me becomes more defined, as I learn that its not just his tendencies living through me; but his love, his strength, his rest, his passions, his desires... all to bring fourth his will.
Being rather new to this blog scene, I do find it as one of the easier manners in which to keep you all informed of my activities. If you are one of my supporters, in prayers or financially and wish to be informed on a more personal note please feel free to email me at James.Kingdomsports@gmail.com
I do ask if you find yourself a prayer warrior, or just with me on your heart, please feel free to pray for the following, or however the Lord may lead you...
-Fruitfullness within these ministries
-Strength for the day, Rest during the night
-A loving and soft heart, worthy to share his love
-A focused mind on ministry and Gods will
-Maintained health (I sunk my tooth throw my tongue, pray that it will close soon =D)
-Growth in my leadership
-Finances (Monthly support to continue with what I do)
Thank you all for reading and hope to hear from you all soon. Please Email me!! I love to hear back from you guys at home!
7:00 wakeup
8:00 breakfast
8:30 Boxing/workout/dance class...
9:30 clean our house (pool house)
11:00 Swim Classes (60 degree pool)
1:00 Lunch
2:00 Head to beach
2:30 Volleyball
7:00 Head home
8:00 cook dinner
9:30 GO TO BED (or go to town....)
Weekends, well, they go something along the lines of... disappearing way to fast, and the necessity of Sabbath is coming all more relevant.
Coming up on about two weeks here God has already been doing a great deal within me. Clearly defining my faults, he is using the trials in my life to create me into the better man he wants me to be; less of me, more of him. As I finally begin to battle back in my individual wars over procrastination and organizations, I can see the many defeats in the past, but I am excited for the victories in the future. Taking my baby steps into leadership, God is pulling his hands farther from me, knowing that I can take the steps on my own. However still there to catch me every time I stumble.
I am beginning to see the necessity for ministry in my life, and the love of service all the more evident. As I slowly start to focus on others and loose clarity of my own desires I find the verse Mathew 6:33 a strong motivational source, "But seek first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto thee." Knowing that if i focus all I am on bringing fourth his kingdom, he will grant me my hearts desires without my effort at all, well that brings fourth excitement and a true understanding of his righteousness. The revelation of more of him and less of me becomes more defined, as I learn that its not just his tendencies living through me; but his love, his strength, his rest, his passions, his desires... all to bring fourth his will.
Being rather new to this blog scene, I do find it as one of the easier manners in which to keep you all informed of my activities. If you are one of my supporters, in prayers or financially and wish to be informed on a more personal note please feel free to email me at James.Kingdomsports@gmail.com
I do ask if you find yourself a prayer warrior, or just with me on your heart, please feel free to pray for the following, or however the Lord may lead you...
-Fruitfullness within these ministries
-Strength for the day, Rest during the night
-A loving and soft heart, worthy to share his love
-A focused mind on ministry and Gods will
-Maintained health (I sunk my tooth throw my tongue, pray that it will close soon =D)
-Growth in my leadership
-Finances (Monthly support to continue with what I do)
Thank you all for reading and hope to hear from you all soon. Please Email me!! I love to hear back from you guys at home!
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