What started me down the path that I have followed for the past two years was a desire in my heart, mind, body, and soul for something more in this life. I was over the normal, tired of the drinking games and unavoidable hang overs, the shallow friends, the quest for money and found myself ultimately faced with my failed passions. I wanted something for my life filled with excitement, something I always wanted, something few are gifted the opportunity of doing. I was going to enlist in the Navy to fly helicopters. But trying to give my life to the army of the United States, as I now see it, I gave my life to Gods army first.
In October 2009 I committed to a 5 month program in Chile, A DTS... If you dont know what it is, well I didnt either. I now stand (sit) 2.5 years, several passport stamps, many acquaintances; friends, families later with the question lingering inside my soul, mind body and spirit, "For what?" If I dont have a reason, why do I do what I do...
I have been in love before. She never loved me back, but I gave all that I was to her. I gave my days, my thoughts, my life, my heart, and she ultimately threw it away. But, I loved nonetheless, and persisted in loving her all the same!
I wonder now is love a reason? I am coming to find it is THE reason.
I am 19 years old, I have not supported a family, not paid any reasonable bills, taken any college courses, and I barely graduated high school. I have traveled to several countries and seen many poverty stricken places, I have seen disaster, I have witnessed death and I have seen Love.
I do not want to give my life to a "Job" and I am scared of being secure... For there is NO security in that which is perishable.
I am broken. I am weak. I struggle to be what I desire to be. But I have found a passion... maybe a similar passion for a girl I once loved... but I now know, the source is not from me, but it is from whom created me.
I ask you, the few, who may read this, to enter into a discussion with me. Tell me what drives you, what you are living for, where you want your life to go... Maybe I will do the same, or maybe, Love will reveal itself, and we wont need a reason. We will simply have and know, THE reason worth living... LOVE and his name, Jesus.
Love the post James. Speaks volumes. I think a lot of times we are always looking for a reason for today or what our next move is. This is an area in life ive struggled with because i always want to know whats next. Im a control freak and sometimes its difficult for me to just let go. Lately ive been on a question and our Savior has been breaking me down. Hes shown me the only reason i need for anything is Him. I dont need to know whats next or know how i will get there, i just know that He is control and whereever I end up He'll be by my side. I find my passion in sharing Gods love with others and doing His work through acts of service for others. Good luck on your quest. Cant wait to read more.
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